learn to say a NO, it is equally important
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
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Alwyn started his day very well, with high spirits. He had properly planned the tasks for the day as he does everyday. He started with his work and never cared to keep an eye over the time. He was totally engrossed in his work, when his telephone rang in a very high pitch making everybody around him to look at him sheepishly. Embarrassed, he picked up the receiver and he didn't expect the caller to be his manager.
"Alwyn, can you meet me in my room in another ten minutes?"
"Sure, Naveen. I'll be there!"
He put the receiver back in its place and started pondering about why his manager would want to meet him. Anyway, he walked over to Naveen's room.
"Ah, Alwyn. Come on in!", greeted Naveen. "Nothing serious. I'm just wondering, will it be possible for you to prepare the annual transactional document for Irvin & co before you relieve for the day. Is it okay?"
Alwyn, thought for a moment and it didn't take a long time to understand that its a laborious task. "I already have a lot of stuffs to do, and this is such a time consuming task. It's already 12 noon now. Its highly impossible to finish it off by evening. I should tell him that it could not be done", he told to himself.
Alwyn looked up at Naveen, thinking of saying a no but said, "Sure, Naveen. No issues."
"Good Alwyn. I'd really appreciate your efforts. I'll catch up with you in the evening."
"Sure, Naveen." Alwyn came out of the room wondering why he does this every time. He cursed himself for letting himself to fall into the same old trap once again. He knew, there are no other options available now. He has to finish it off whatever it may take.
The ability to say a NO when it is highly appropriate has a tremendous impact on many a things in one's life . Lets take Mr. Alwyn's case. Alwyn is very good in keeping up time, a goal based, career oriented, high spirited person. Alas, he is an I-Won't-Say-A-No maniac. Though he has many good qualities, his inability to confront people with a denial doesn't allow him to be what he wants. It doesn't takes a genius brain to understand his problem. All you need to do is to sit back for a while and think about it. You are sure to find a bit of yourself in my friend Mr. Alwyn.
Being bad at saying NO is an universal problem. Every single human being around the globe faces this issue and those who master this specific skill always have a clean conscience and a better lifestyle.
Time to hit the grapevine. Read carefully.
Why do most of us hesitate to say a NO?
Because, we are human beings and we've been accustomed to live in a society. The answer is just that simple. Remember, more often we say "yes" to someone in order to please other person. We do it many a times in a row, we increase the expectation of the other person and also, with that the dependency level. And one fine day, we may not be able to do it and we will feel guilty, leaving the other person fuming over us. Both of us will suffer.
Why is it important to say a NO when it is necessary?
1) You should be able to stick to your plans, goals and strategies.
2) Helps in better planning and finding out alternate solutions.
3) Avoids eleventh hour surprises.
4) Helps in establishing proper expectations.
How and when to say a NO?
1) Be polite and explain the reasons properly, but only if it is necessary. You need not explain yourself to every one.
2) If the other person is persistent, so you be. Be persistent and polite.
3) Analyze and understand before you respond. Understand the implications, and the amount of work involved before accepting a schedule.
4) If need be, ask for some time to do your homework. Its no bad to spend some time before hand to come up with a proper schedule.
But, saying a "NO" is not always possible. Yes, you heard it right. You may not have the liberty all the time. So, what would you do then? Just accept it, say "YES". But make your stance very clear. Make sure, the other person understands that they owe you one.
Our actions contribute only a 10% of whatever happens in our life, rest whopping 90% happens due to our reaction. So, think before you react.
"Alwyn, can you meet me in my room in another ten minutes?"
"Sure, Naveen. I'll be there!"
He put the receiver back in its place and started pondering about why his manager would want to meet him. Anyway, he walked over to Naveen's room.
"Ah, Alwyn. Come on in!", greeted Naveen. "Nothing serious. I'm just wondering, will it be possible for you to prepare the annual transactional document for Irvin & co before you relieve for the day. Is it okay?"
Alwyn, thought for a moment and it didn't take a long time to understand that its a laborious task. "I already have a lot of stuffs to do, and this is such a time consuming task. It's already 12 noon now. Its highly impossible to finish it off by evening. I should tell him that it could not be done", he told to himself.
Alwyn looked up at Naveen, thinking of saying a no but said, "Sure, Naveen. No issues."
"Good Alwyn. I'd really appreciate your efforts. I'll catch up with you in the evening."
"Sure, Naveen." Alwyn came out of the room wondering why he does this every time. He cursed himself for letting himself to fall into the same old trap once again. He knew, there are no other options available now. He has to finish it off whatever it may take.
The ability to say a NO when it is highly appropriate has a tremendous impact on many a things in one's life . Lets take Mr. Alwyn's case. Alwyn is very good in keeping up time, a goal based, career oriented, high spirited person. Alas, he is an I-Won't-Say-A-No maniac. Though he has many good qualities, his inability to confront people with a denial doesn't allow him to be what he wants. It doesn't takes a genius brain to understand his problem. All you need to do is to sit back for a while and think about it. You are sure to find a bit of yourself in my friend Mr. Alwyn.
Being bad at saying NO is an universal problem. Every single human being around the globe faces this issue and those who master this specific skill always have a clean conscience and a better lifestyle.
Time to hit the grapevine. Read carefully.
Why do most of us hesitate to say a NO?
Because, we are human beings and we've been accustomed to live in a society. The answer is just that simple. Remember, more often we say "yes" to someone in order to please other person. We do it many a times in a row, we increase the expectation of the other person and also, with that the dependency level. And one fine day, we may not be able to do it and we will feel guilty, leaving the other person fuming over us. Both of us will suffer.
Why is it important to say a NO when it is necessary?
1) You should be able to stick to your plans, goals and strategies.
2) Helps in better planning and finding out alternate solutions.
3) Avoids eleventh hour surprises.
4) Helps in establishing proper expectations.
How and when to say a NO?
1) Be polite and explain the reasons properly, but only if it is necessary. You need not explain yourself to every one.
2) If the other person is persistent, so you be. Be persistent and polite.
3) Analyze and understand before you respond. Understand the implications, and the amount of work involved before accepting a schedule.
4) If need be, ask for some time to do your homework. Its no bad to spend some time before hand to come up with a proper schedule.
But, saying a "NO" is not always possible. Yes, you heard it right. You may not have the liberty all the time. So, what would you do then? Just accept it, say "YES". But make your stance very clear. Make sure, the other person understands that they owe you one.
Our actions contribute only a 10% of whatever happens in our life, rest whopping 90% happens due to our reaction. So, think before you react.
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