Technology, Money & Questions

Run, run. Run my boy. Don't give it up on me now, you got to make it. I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could. I'm just a few yards away, two more minutes. Though, I could not see the finish line properly, I knew I'm gonna make it. Two more steps, I fell down flat, heaving and panting. I had a weird sensation, it was like a flashback or something. Train of thoughts. I was standing amongst a group of people, and I'm not aware whether all of them are gonna run with me in the race or even worst, I did not know if it's the beginning of a race. Because there were no formal lanes and some of the people were already worn out.

No clue of what's gonna happen next. Suddenly, there was an outburst, everybody started running, not necessarily in any order or following any rules. I felt like running in a race, only the race I'm in, was very uncivilized. No rules, every man is for himself, all you have to do is to out run someone else. I never thought I'd do something like that, true, I did not want to do it even now. Do I have any choice? I still remember running in that crowd like a mad man, not knowing where am going, not knowing whom I'm competing with, worst of all, not knowing whether I'm in a race actually.

I don't know how long I've been lying like that. When I opened my eyes, reality caught me. I saw that most of the people has started running already. I caught my breath, started running, shouting aloud, "Hell, I'm running in a never ending race". I woke up in my bed, sweating to the core in my real cold room and the darkness seems to eat me alive. I drank some water, tried to relax and I'm asleep even before I knew.

I woke up in the morning with a splitting head ache, mostly the adverse effect of a restless night. I wished I could go back to sleep in a blink of my eye, but I've a long day before me. I thought about the dream, only this time it doesn't feel like a dream. It is legible, and I could feel it like a memory. The crowd, the running, the effort, everything felt very real. I have no time to think about it dearly, has to get along with the routine. So, I followed my routine and got ready to go to the office. I thought about the dream on my way to office and I had to push it to the back burner once I reached the office.

I always have a bad day whenever I have scarce sleep and the day is no different. I felt really relieved when the clock struck six in the evening, I packed up everything and left the office. Strangely, I thought about the dream when I traveled back home, but this time I forced myself to look at it in the third person's view.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. Everything fell in place. The dream, of course, it is not a dream at all. It is the plight of my life's condition right now. The race I was in my dream, is actually my life, a haphazard race. Without even knowing, I've started running in a never ending race in my life. I'm running behind money, social status, good job, good life partner and what not. When did I become part of this race? Is it when I took up my first job? or when I completed my under graduation? or when I finished my higher secondary? I don't know. Hell, I really do not know.

All I know is one thing, I just cannot quit now and even trying to do that would cost me dearly. I've to keep running, but what for and to what extent? It seemed to be a larger than life question.

Now, I started to see everything in a new shower of light. Civilization, if not anything, has taught people to compete. Everyone out there, are competing with everyone else out there and at times, all of us trying to out run our own selves. In our quest to win the never ending race, we forget to take some time for ourselves and our dear ones.

We fill the jar initially with sand leaving no space for anything else. We should learn to prioritize and live. Anyway, we can never say, "I quit from the race". And it is a never ending race, the only advantage is even when you come back from a short break you will not be alone. You will still be in the race, but you might have to run with a different set of people. And if you have the enough courage, still you can make it to the league.

I was happy when I understood my dream, more than that I understood how my life works and what does it take to live my life. I just remembered the Red queen paradox, "It takes all the running you can do, to keep yourself in the same place".

I'm prepared for my next race, only this time I'm ready to take a break whenever I want. How about you?